<-- Back
Tome of Teppinek: Vealos
Teppinek V
"Ouch!"
A cry came from Jeffie Teppinek's trousers as he sat down.
"Pickles?" Jeffie and G-Fish questioned in unison.
"Yes," Jeffie's pants screamed, "you were supposed to digest me, remember?"
Teppinek promptly grabbed some plasticware from the boat of plaid's mess hall and began scooping out Pickles from his pants. Approximately five minutes later, there was a uniformly piled pink mass of chewing gum residue on the deck of the boat, complete with Pickle's trademark unhappy face (seriously, it's trademarked, so don't go around using it or there could be serious legal litigations).
"Yo, man, this dude owes me money, dogg!" screamed G-Fish.
Teppinek silenced G-Fish with a wave of his hand.
"Pickles, I'm not eating you again, you came out of my backside. What are we to do now?" said Jeffie.
"I suppose I should be put to a good use, good Teppinek," Pickles proclaimed. "Put me atop the mast of this ship of plaid, and I will keep a lookout for foul weather, pirates, and whatnot."
"Dogg, man, Jeffie! He owes me money, man, like 5 g's. We's should put a cap in his punk @$$, yo. Fer real," touted G-Fish to Jeffie, who was presently carrying Pickles up the boat's mast to adhere him to the top.
"Is this true?" inquired Teppinek to the spoonful of pink mass.
"I honestly don't know what he's talking about. The first time I saw him was when I was stuck in the river. He kept saying something about his 'crew' didn't like me 'messin wit his hoes' and that I 'best be turnin for light pepper nostalgia, fer real, mulk and gimmets.' I couldn't understand what he was trying to say, I've never used any of his gardening utensils, and I have never accepted any money from him." replied Pickles.
Teppinek squished Pickles to the very top of the boat of plaid's mast, the spork that carried him now embedded into his back. As Jeffie descended from the mast he could still hear G-Fish yelling at him to "represent" and "cap dat --expletive deleted--".
"G-Fish," Teppinek spoke to his adventuring comrade.
"Yo," replied G-Fish.
"When and why did you loan money to a stick of gum?" asked Jeffie.
"... ... Oh," replied G-Fish after a long delay, "It was like... he was uhm... he said he, like, needed it and sh**. Said somethin' 'bout his cousin from, like, North Dakota was needin' it for, like, a fundraiser or something... for the... the basketball kidney team, an' somethin'."
"G-Fish," Teppinek responded.
"Yo," replied G-Fish.
"You've never given Pickles any money in your life, have you?" Teppinek questioned rhetorically.
After a long pause, a saddened look fell upon the G-Fish's face.
"Naw," said G-Fish, "... naw, I jus' be dissin' him fer bein' gum, dogg, it aight"
"No," responded Jeffie, "it is not 'aight'. You accused Pickles of something he did not do. You need to quit being a dillweed and quit lying to people if you want to continue adventuring on this boat of plaid."
"aight, aight," quipped the G-Fish, "we cool."

What will happen next in Teppinek's travels? Will G-Fish keep his word, or will he continue being a whiney, annoying, punk @$$ propolopegater? These answers and more will be answered in the next installment of the magical Teppinek saga!
Next -->