As Jeffie Teppinek sailed away from the skivie laiden shore, he travelled up river a ways until he saw a large ubstruction jetting out of the water. When he approached, he saw that the object sticking out from the water was a large stick of chewing gum with an un-happy face crudely drawn on one of the side. "Hello," spoke the gum stick, "Can you help me?" Jeffie proudly spoke up, "I'm Jeffie Teppinek! I help no one unless they seek adventure."
"Ok, adventure sounds good" replied the stick of gum.
And so Jeffie helped the large stick of gum out of the water and on to his boat of plaid.
"I am Pickles," said the stick of gum, "I was just swimming around in the water here one morning and the river tried to eat me. But alas, I am not to be swallowed, just chewed, so I sat there for three weeks."
"That's depressing," said Jeffie, "My name is Jeffie Teppinek."
"You already said that," replied Pickles.
"Oh yeah," said Jeffie, "Hey, do you like adventure?"
"We've already gone over that, too," said Pickles.
"Oh yeah," Jeffie responded.
"Hey, you know what?" spoke Pickles, "Why don't you just kill me? I'm just a stick of gum with a sad face drawn on by some depressed kindergardener. End me now, ok?"
"Ok," said Jeffie. And with that he began the two month process of eating the large stick of gum as it cried out in pain with each bite Jeffie took.
After finishing off Pickles, Jeffie felt a great sence of accomplishment, but his digestive system didn't take well to the buildup of undigested waste, so he went to deficate over the side of his boat of plaid.
As he did so, a fish jumped up out of the water and landed on the deck of Jeffie's boat of plaid.
"Hey! Mutha #*%(%, what you be doing all up in here?!", screamed the fish.
"There is to be no cussing on my boat of plaid, fish." marked Jeffie.
"I do what I damn well please. You be tryin' be stickin' your budunkadunk all up in my hizzie and be think that be flyin'. Well that s**t ain't be flying wit me, dat's for damn sure. Ain't there be no flyin' s**t around here. Don't you be gettin' off like you's all up an mighty with yo' weak-@$$ boat of plaid, neitha. Shoo, I've seen betta boats for gravey. Now you just get all up and outie and keep yo' gravey to yo' self," replied the fish.
"Hey, how would you like to be my adventuring partner?"
Jeffie spoke with excitment in his voice.
"How'd you like me tu jack up yo' grill?" asked the fish.
"Yes, I think that would be splendid. It sounds adventurous!
We're going to be such good traveling companions!" squeeled Jeffie Teppinek.
"Naw, dude, you ain't be playing that game wit me. Hell no, you ain't be playing that s**t wit me. Ain't no way I be stickin' 'round here no mo. You's best be steppin' down and check yo self before's I be setting my posse all up in yo face," the fish said.
"But you don't have many friends, do you mr. fish?" Jeffie questioned.
A look of deep sorrow fell upon the fish's face.
"... no," softly spoke the fish, "no, I just bein' lonely. Tru dat, you know. Jus tryin' tu be kickin' it an' keepin' it real an' all, an' I just be flyin' solo. I ain't be frontin' but I got's tu be representin', you know? I guess I's be disrespectin' all those foo's and I ain't be knowin' it 'til now."
"Partners of adventure it is!" Jeffie yelled as he pooped his pants.
"Word," remarked the fish.
Oh boy! What exciting adventures with Jeffie Teppinek and the
g-fish get in to next???? Stay tuned for more tales of super awesome
mind-blowing action continue in the next installment.